The true measure of success
Most of my life I have been reaching out. Reaching out for direction, answers, approval, and clarity. I’m not sure how I learned this and why I kept doing it even when it didn’t yield the results I hoped for. But that’s what I did. I even went as far as try to force things to happen, resulting in stress and anguish and ultimately loss and failure. The shift started to happen gradually, but now I look within. These two energies feel very different.
Reaching out almost has a light, airy feeling to me that generates a sense of anxiety and being ungrounded. It feels as though I am losing something or giving something away. The energy feels like it’s being pulled out of me, straining outward for something, and it always feels desperate and forced. It feels frantic at times, looking left and looking right, and searching, searching, searching. It’s tiring. Looking within feels very different to me.
Looking within feels warm and heavy, settled, and grounded, wise, and expansive. I breathe more easily and profoundly when I look within. There is a feeling of peace and clarity, stillness, and trust. It feels hopeful and true.
It may seem odd, but I continue to feel a slight internal tug of war between these two energies; these two approaches. I say that it may seem odd because one is obviously better than the other. Why would I feel a tug toward reaching out, when looking within is the obvious way to go? Control. I think it boils down to control. The reaching out energy can be tempting because it feels like the responsible thing to do. I’m doing something. I’m taking action. Look at me, I’ve done this and that and this and I’m being responsible and logical. And in some ways, it’s a more secure way to approach life. There’s not a lot of risk involved here because typically the things that we make happen through reaching out are stable, secure, no risk, no judgements, cookie cutter type things. However, in my experience, these actions result in very unfulfilling life circumstances, and I have found myself eager for a change of course soon after getting what I made happen through external force.
Looking within initially has no movement at all. It can seem like we’re not doing anything, and this can make us feel like we’re being lazy or irresponsible and it can also create anxiety in the people in our inner circle. Looking within is quieter, more still, less movement (at least for a while), and requires a huge dose of trust. Reaching out doesn’t really require that much trust- it’s more about control and making things happen.
So what am I placing my trust in? Trust that I have the answer already, it’s there within, I just need to listen and trust. Trust that I am connected to energy/source/universe/God and this energy only wants good things and I can tap into all the good things energy is up to. Trust that energy is ready to give me gifts, guidance, and clarity, I just need to pay attention and be open to those gifts. Trust that I am good, I am perfect, just as I am.
Parts of this approach are more solitary, especially initially. I do a lot of journaling and meditative walks. I am searching within, paying attention to the tugs that energy provides that are often subtle and quiet, but definitely there and worth paying attention to. Searching for connections. Searching for gifts. Paying attention. Energy is helping, energy is giving me signposts, and I need to pay attention to them. Once there is more clarity, there is movement, and this can be sudden, like a burst of movement when things start clicking together. It’s at this point where help is usually required, and I mean help from other people. That’s the thing about the looking within path, guidance from energy and help from other people are essential components. And this path requires much more from me. It requires my creativity, my attunement to energy, my conviction and dedication, my humility and vulnerability, my willingness to ask for help, and my constant gratitude to energy. Ultimately, it requires my daily choosing to trust in myself, my intuition, and my connection to energy- that is the true gift, to me, that is success. I’ll end with a little on that subject- the truest form of success to me.
The true gift and the true measure of success is this inner experience, the connection to source, the belief that I am good and perfect just the way I am, and the inner peace that I can always find regardless of my circumstances. Once I lose that, I lose. I believe that the inner connection will result in a good life, in a successful life- a nice life where all my needs are met, an abundant life even. However, if I’ve lost that inner connection, I’ve lost, regardless of my life circumstances.
So that’s why I write these articles. In my journey of looking within I have been led to write. So I write. When I write these articles I get into a state of flow and these words just pour out of me (yes, sometimes I do go back and make some edits!). Will anything come from these articles? Yes! I feel so full when I write them- I overflow with energy when I write. I am connected to energy. That is the gift. That is my success.
Here’s to choosing to look within and to measure success by sustaining that inner connection.